Friday, January 24, 2014

The Gun

The last couple of days there is a gun on the floor in the living room. Don’t get excited it is not going to do lethal damage. It is my wife’s gun and it is there to shoot squirrels. Even though the temperature is less than zero degrees, she opens the window and sticks her gun out to shoot the squirrels off the bird feeder, as cold air is blasting its way into the house.

My wife is a good shot. This is a real compliment because the pellet gun pellets go from left to right as they leave the barrel of the gun. She has made the needed adjustments and compensations. She gets some help from the fact that the bird feeder / squirrel feeder is only 16 or so feet from the window.

The gun is ancient. It was maybe the first pellet gun ever made. It apparently was very powerful once as one of the boys remembered it would break the skin of an animal. Now my wife shoots the squirrels and they look up at her with an attitude. They are annoyed. After a couple of shots they decide to go find a nut or something buried instead of withstand the indignity of being pelted with small metallic objects.

I know instinctually not to disturb her gun. I don’t know why it is right where you would walk if it were not for the fact a gun was there. I don’t know why it has been in the middle of the floor for two days. It doesn’t matter to me, I just walk around it. I suppose she has her reasons for not leaning it into a corner. I expect she needs a “fast draw” to get those wily squirrels.

She had me locate the feeder in such a way that squirrels could not get onto it. This is one of those theory and reality things. In theory the squirrels cannot get to the bird feeder. In reality they can. In addition to a good location, she purchased many squirrel related deterrents. They are metal triangle shaped things that don’t allow the squirrels to come up the feeder, and big umbrella things that keep them from (theoretically) jumping down from above. Alas, the squirrels have adapted and now know how to jump from a tree, far, far away and onto the feeder… and thus the need for more violent means of deterrent.

So if you come to our small little house unannounced that is why there is a gun on the floor in the living room and fat and happy squirrels everywhere.

©David L Arment

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